Dear HOS: I Need You to Know

Dear HOS,

I know that you have your doubts as a dad. I know you worry about the hours you work. I know you stress about the impact you have on our wonderful daughter. What parent doesn’t feel this way?

I wanted to let you know that I see you. I see everything that you for our family, and I am grateful. I want to ease any doubts or concerns that may enter your mind.

You make the most of every minute you share with Charlotte.

Charli asks for you when you aren’t here, and she is excited to see you walk in the door.

Charlotte learns from you every day. Our not-quite-two-year-old knows her body parts because you taught her. And she can tell her left from her right because you taught her.

And while I know you (and I) will have moments, days or even weeks when we feel like we are most definitely screwing this up, I need you to know that you are amazing dad.




Dear HOS: Thank You

Dear HOS,

I wanted to take a minute to thank you.

Thank you for taking Charlotte to daycare in the morning, and picking her up far more often than you should.

Thank you for cleaning.

Thank you for working so hard to take care of Charli and me. Thank you for sacrificing!

Thank you for changing dirty diapers, swinging Charlotte to sleep for months and for getting up at night.

Thank you for taking the time in the morning to snuggle with Charli.

Thank you for putting together a Christmas tree you really don’t care about, and then turning it on at night just for me.

Thank you for cleaning the litter box. This cannot be communicated enough! You truly deserve honors.

Thank you for loving my family – all 40ish of them.

Thank you for trying… Trying my cooking, trying my household ideas, trying to understand me… For any and every moment of effort.

Thank you for being my better half.

Thank you for being the dad of my beautiful daughter.

I know we get caught up in life. We don’t take enough time for one another. We often look at the relationship and think, “what’s being done for me?” I’m talking about myself now. I asked you this just a few weeks ago.

How selfish of me?

I know it’s human nature to want more, and I know I’ll always wish we had more date nights. But the truth is, I would rather be home, snuggling with you and Charli on the couch. Fancy dates or not, I’m very spoiled. And very loved.

Thank you for all the things I’ve listed, all the things I didn’t.

I love you!



Dear HOS: I Can’t Take Any ‘Snore’

(The posts I write and categorize as “Dear HOS” will be letters to my man. These brief letters will contain devotions of love, confessions of disappointment and thankfulness for our relationship. This topic will be a mixed bag of posts, but they will be genuine.)

Dear HOS,

I love you, and I missed you while you were away this weekend. The house seemed much emptier, the noises much louder and creepier, and the parenting was a little more difficult.

That being said…

I slept better than I have in weeks.

In recent weeks, I’ve rudely awakened you to let you know that you were snoring. LOUDLY. And despite my less-than-friendly midnight demands regarding nasal strips, you refused.

Tonight, though, you remembered! I don’t know if this was brought on by my threat of punching you in the face while you were sleeping or by you recognizing that your nasal congestion would amplify your snores.

It’s neither here nor there!

I greatly appreciate you remembering the nasal strips.


They do not work.

Each time you inhale, the air entering your nasal cavities makes a sound that makes the little hairs in my ears stand up. It’s like someone held a chalkboard next to my left ear and ran their fingernails down it, and then stretched cotton balls. It’s like that, only worse.

My left ear is tingling and achy. I finally gave up. I’m cuddled on the couch with our cat who keeps purring. Each purr grates on my tender ears.


I love you, HOS, and I’m grateful you wore the nasal strips, but it’s not enough. It’s time we deal with the snoring… Before I snap.

Oh, if you’re wondering where I am, I’m sleeping on the couch in the basement. It’s the safest distance.



Better Girlfriending: Q1 Report

One of my 2013 resolutions is to be a better girlfriend to HOS. I’ll be honest, my first quarter performance was definitely lacking. We suffered some major arguments, and both had times where we were just not in the mood to deal with one another. BUT, I love this ginger, bearded man, so I worked hard to redeem myself during the last few weeks.

A few weeks ago, Shane gave me a sweet card for no reason other than to remind me that he loves me, and he is so happy we were blessed with Charli. And!! He included a package of my favorite Cadbury milk chocate eggs with the candy coated shells. Yum!

In reciprocation, I surprised him with a bottle of one of his favorite whiskies.

The next week, I bought him a nice shirt at Gap because I was thinking of him while shopping, and thought he’d look good in it. [I was right!]

Finally, last weekend, I took HOS on our first date in around four months. FOUR MONTHS!

We went to RowHouse Restaurant in Topeka. If you live on the area, you have to eat here. It’s unique, romantic and ridiculously delicious. Trust me; do it.

Anyway, it was snowing, so we didn’t do anything after dinner, but the date was just what we needed.

It’s becoming obvious that we aren’t making enough time for us and our relationship. It felt so good to do nice things for him, and to have him do sweet things for me, too.

It’s too easy for partners to become lazy and for relationships to become boring. … And having kid(s) doesn’t make it any easier.

I like the track HOS and I are on. We aren’t perfect. We fight, and we don’t always like one another, but we love one another. And we want to be happy parents who live in a house filled with happiness. [cheesy, I know]

I told HOS a long time ago that I want to be the kind of parents who gross out their kids because we are so in love, and because we give each other kisses. I want to be the parents that make our kids believe that happily ever after is possible.

I want to be the parents who are willing to work hard to be that kind of parents.

So my first quarter results for being a better girlfriends started out stagnate, and remained that way for far too long. However, I’m happy to report that better girlfriending is trending upward!! I am currently under goal, but I have 3 more quarters to rectify the loss.

What have you done to become a better partner, or what has your partner done?