Still Amazed

Every day I stare at my daughter in wonder.

It’s been nearly nine months, but I’m still amazed that HOS and I created that precious little girl. And I feel so blessed that God gave her to us, happy and healthy.

Each day, I learn new things about her. She frustrates me at times – when she gets into the shoes, pulls on cords or eats Bear’s fur – but I’m mostly overjoyed.

I don’t know if I’ll spend my whole life looking at her, knowing that she’s my greatest accomplishment, and being surprised that she is mine, or if I’ll some day find some feeling of … acceptance … or peace. I don’t know the right word for it.

But right now, it feels like I’ll spend my entire life looking at this beautiful girl in complete and utter amazement, thanking God that she’s in my life.

Do you share this same feeling of wonder when looking at your child(ren)?

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The Great (and Depressing) Gatsby

I reread The Great Gatsby last week in anticipation for the new movie release in May. I’m still trying to work through the message F. Scott Fitzgerald was trying to communicate.

I learned very quickly that while I remembered some of the major points of the novel, it was as if I were reading it for the first time. I can’t decide if this is because I did a poor job reading in high school or because my interpretation and thought processes have changed.

As for the characters, I didn’t really care for any of them except the narrator, Nick, and his fling, Jordan. Of course, Jordan was a bit of a mess.

Tom is an arrogant man who lived in a world of double-standards where he flaunted his money. Gatsby was a stalker who made his money in very sketchy business. He also flaunted his money. And the woman they both loved so much? I can’t even remember her name, I disliked her that much.

I do remember one of the things she said, though, in regard to her daughter. When asked about the you h child, she said that she breathes.

She breathes?

That’s all this pitiful, self-involved “adult” had to say about her three-year-old. I was over her by the end of the sentence.

She did manage to anger me again later when she paraded her daughter in front of her lover like a dog and then sent her away with the maid.

Aside from being terrible parents, the characters were drunks, liars, adulterers, murderers and just bad people.

Was Fitzgerald trying to demonstrate the ridiculous life of the wealthy? Was he trying to say that you can’t chase a dream – once it’s gone, it’s gone?

It’s as if Fitzgerald was trying to say that it’s not worth it. The big adventure, the dream, the whatever will just end in heartache.

It was all quite depressing, and at the same time, I can’t think of a better ending. They don’t deserve a happy ending.

Have you read The Great Gatsby? What are your thoughts on the novel?

New Best Friends

Could it be that Bear wants to be friends with Charlotte? Is that even possible?

Could my baby girl and my cat get along?!

Eh, probably not. … At least not yet.

Thanks to Technology

I’ve been wanting to write a post about technology for a long time, and there is no better motivation than being half a country away from my sweet baby girl and my amazing HOS.

Our little family has been using Skype for a number of months now. My dad and Sue are some of those lucky people who get to migrate south for the winter. Typically, they go way south to Mexico. They asked that we start using Skype so they wouldn’t miss out watching Charlotte grow. And let me tell you, four months makes a HUGE difference when it comes to babies.

Skype has been a blessing. I can’t even explain how much it meant to see my dad and Sue on the screen, and to watch Charli scrunch up her face at what she probably thought was a mini TV.

It’s not easy living in a different state than my family on a normal basis, let alone another country. Skype makes it possible for them to maintain a strong presence in Charlotte’s life even if its via video conference. Despite the distance, my baby girl will recognize their faces and their voices.

Aside from Skype, HOS and I have iPhones, so we can FaceTime one another. At this very moment, I’m in Atlanta for work. HOS and Charli are in Topeka. I hate being away, but I’m able to call them and actually see their faces!

On the call, Charlotte just kept giving the phone mean faces, but when I sang the ABCs, she lit up and smiled! It’s like she knew it was me.

I don’t care who you are or whether or not you think technology is a pain. It has done nothing but improve the quality of my family life, and I’m so grateful that it’s free (Skype) or built into our cell phones!

What piece of technology makes life better for your family?

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Mean Mommy Award Goes To…

It took us less than nine months, but we finally did it. HOS and I both made Charlotte cry, and on the same day!

How, you ask, did we achieve our first “mean mommy” and “mean daddy” awards? With two little letters …

“No.”

Charli and I were cuddling on the couch this morning when she reached up and grabbed my cheek and right eye with her dagger-like fingers. I pulled her hand away and used my stern mom-voice (first time, too). All it took was me saying “no.”

Her blue eyes got big and quickly filled with tears while her bottom lip started to tremble.

I’ll be damned if she didn’t win that fight. I swooped her up in a hug so fast and told I was sorry, but she hurt mommy. She buried her precious face in my shoulder and cried.

I felt like the worst parent.

HOS had a similar situation this afternoon while I was shopping. Charlotte is crawling!! (Video soon) and she managed to make her way over to pull on the cords in the entertainment center.

HOS told her no and the heart-breaking cry face commenced.

My best friend reminded me that it will likely get easier with time. … I’m just hoping Shane and I become a little less whipped so we can toughen up!

Lovey Dovey Eyes

HOS and I are hanging out with the nieces for a little while this evening while HOS’ sister and her husband look at houses. I have to go to the dentist soon about some filled cavities giving me discomfort, so I’m quickly dinner.

Since I’m preoccupied, HOS is walking up and down the block with a 5 and 2 year old, pushing Charli in a stroller.

Insert lovey dovey eyes here!

There is nothing more attractive than a man who is good with kids. He looked so great out there with the girls.

The first words out of his mouth when they returned was …

Let’s have more kids.

Bahaha. I had you for a second!

His words were actually something to the effect of “we’re never having kids.”

Too late, buddy!

What does your partner do to warrant the lovey dovey eyes?

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Riding in Cars With Phones

First and foremost, happy Easter! We were blessed to spend a weekend in Nebraska with my family. It makes for a short weekend with lots of driving, but it’s worth it!!

Unfortunately, Charlotte has passed the age of sleeping the full six hours. We were lucky if she slept three. That makes for another three long hours.

I spent most if the to and from in the backseat trying desperately to keep Charlotte from fussing. We were about an hour from home today when I gave up and handed her my phone.

Easy fix!

It may be germy and breakable, but it’s better to deal with that than a screaming eight month old. … We tried.

Before I handed my phone to Charlotte, I turned on the camera. Here is my precious babe, riding in the car with my phone.