She Will Be Infinite


This is one of those images of Charli that makes my heart stop. If only time would stop, too.

I know that one day I’ll dig through thousands of digital photos to find this exact photo. I’ll compare it to her first day of kindergarten and her last day of high school. I’ll show it off to anyone who can stand to see the picture … Again.

I will relive all of my favorite moments, like the first time she tip-toed down a large, empty hallway with an owl backpack slung across her back. She looked so very small and so very curious.

This Charlotte, this beautiful daughter of mine will be infinite. Maybe only in my world, but that’s all I need.

Her Mother’s Daughter

HOS’ job keeps him busy most nights, so Ms. Charli is stuck hanging out with me. I’m afraid the poor child is doomed…

Every day brings new experiences that only perpetuate my belief that she takes after me.

These are the top 5 reasons I know my daughter is my mini-me.

1. She throws a tantrum when someone takes away her cookies. While this is true of most people, we have this awesome tantrum where we cautiously lower ourselves onto the floor to prevent injury. Once safely sitting on the floor, we commence flailing around like mad women.

2. Her finger nails are her weapon of choice. My cousins love sharing the story of the time it took three of the older cousins to hold me down and cut my nails so I would stop attacking them. I don’t remember the details of this scenario, but I do remember it happening. In an effort to overcome embarrassment, I say I was pretending to be Wolverine. … I wasn’t.

3. She eats anything off the floor. This can be read two ways – emphasizing anything or off. She does both. Tonight, she took noodles from the pan, toddled into the kitchen where she put them on the floor before picking them back up and eating them. She will also eat anything edible that is on the floor – including yesterday’s snacks.

4. She is mouthy. I don’t know what she is saying yet, but when she starts to use real words, I’m in for it! When I tell her no or raise my voice, little miss sassy pants will take a couple steps away from me, turn around and shake her index finger at my while babbling in a tone that is sure to dominate her teen years.

5. She eats anything. My best friend calls me a “human garbage disposal” for good reason. Charli isn’t far behind me. There have only been a few things she wouldn’t eat… And there have been a few things she ate that even I wouldn’t eat. I’m not complaining! She makes me feel like an awesome cook.

I claim all of these things to be inherited from me – good or bad. She also sleeps in the most uncomfortable positions, but this has to be shared equally with her daddy. He rarely looks comfortable…

Well, Charli, you’ll fight me on this for many years, but you really are your mother’s daughter!


Truest Love

I think one of the great questions of humanity is how to know what true love looks and feels like.

I cannot accurately answer that question, but I vividly remember the few times I have seen it.

The first time, HOS and I were getting a sonogram to find out the sex of “lil’ red”aka Charlotte. HOS stared at the screen in wonder as the radiology the shower us the first pictures of our baby girl. I wish I could describe the look on his face and do it justice. Instead, I’ll just say that it was like he was experiencing joy, pride, excitement and awe in its fullest and purest combination. It brought tears to my eyes.

The second time, HOS was in Dallas for work and Charli said dada for the first time. Charlotte and I Skyped him that night, and just before the ended, she said dada. It doesn’t matter that we knew she wasn’t actually talking to him, but it doesn’t matter. That moment is magical. HOS had the same look on his face that he had at the sonogram.

The third time isn’t a specific instance. It’s a collection of moments when Charli is laughing, playing, singing or dancing and I catch a glimpse of HOS watching her. And he has that same look.

To this day, the way HOS looks at Charlotte still brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my lips.

I may be young, but I know I’ve seen what true love. It’s in the way HOS looks at our daughter. There can be no love greater.

Miss Talkative

My daughter is talkative, animated and waves her hands around wildly while speaking. … She must have gotten those from her daddy. 😉

Still Amazed

Every day I stare at my daughter in wonder.

It’s been nearly nine months, but I’m still amazed that HOS and I created that precious little girl. And I feel so blessed that God gave her to us, happy and healthy.

Each day, I learn new things about her. She frustrates me at times – when she gets into the shoes, pulls on cords or eats Bear’s fur – but I’m mostly overjoyed.

I don’t know if I’ll spend my whole life looking at her, knowing that she’s my greatest accomplishment, and being surprised that she is mine, or if I’ll some day find some feeling of … acceptance … or peace. I don’t know the right word for it.

But right now, it feels like I’ll spend my entire life looking at this beautiful girl in complete and utter amazement, thanking God that she’s in my life.

Do you share this same feeling of wonder when looking at your child(ren)?