Almost three months ago, I wrote a blog post called We Are Bullshit. The post was really a rant about how women blame society for skewed views of what body type is healthy and attractive and those that aren’t. That we, as women, play the victim when it comes to body image. In the post I said that I was proud of my body, and I was going to write a post to stand by my body.

To be completely honest, I never wrote my follow up post because I gained 10 lbs after that post. I found myself in a very unhappy place regarding my body image, and it was starting to cause problems in my relationship. Despite feeling unhappy, I tried to ignore my feelings. I lied to myself, trying (and failing) to convince myself that I was 100% proud of my body. It was until April 20 that I experienced my breaking point.

Something as small and ridiculous as putting on a new shirt completely shifted my lifestyle, and the lifestyle of my family. I put that t-shirt on, looked at myself in the mirror and felt disgusting. I was disappointed that I let myself become unhealthy and unfit. And I felt so unattractive, which made me behave like an unattractive person. If that makes sense.

That was a Saturday morning. That night I stepped on a scale and was appalled. By Sunday, I started a healthy evening meal plan for HOS, Charli and myself. I started exercising on Tuesday. It didn’t take long for my muscles to remember what activity felt like. I felt good about my diet* and exercise, something I haven’t felt since the first trimester of my pregnancy.

*Just for clarification, when I say diet, I mean eating habits. I don’t believe in crash dieting. I want to make a lasting, healthy life choices for me and my family

One week after I felt so disgusting, I put that same shirt on. I’m no miracle worker, so I wasn’t without some extra love (softness in my tummy), but I felt good.

HOS and I chose to reshape our lives into something healthier. It’s something we can feel good about, and be proud of as parents. It’s only been two weeks, and we will have many obstacles to overcome as we move forward. We will also have moments of weakness – like my current obsession with cookies – but we are on track again.

I started this health enhancement wanting to lose 30 lbs, which scared my half to death. I weighed myself every day for the first week, but it only made me feel disappointed and frustrated. After week one, I only lost .5 lbs … Maybe 1 lb. … but I didn’t care! I felt great. I was happier with myself. I felt more comfortable on my clothes.

I have a new “weight” goal – feel comfortable in my own clothes and my own skin. Oh, and throw away the scale. That bitch just brings you down.

I’d love to hear about your adventures to be the happiest, healthiest version of yourself. What do you do to boost your self-esteem?

(I’ve been posting blogs from my phone, so I apologize for any and all errors. Obviously, they were all the fault of my phone and not my lazy forms of editing.)