I hope HOS doesn’t read this and get upset, but we had a little tiff a week ago. That little tiff taught me a big lesson in parenting, one that I’m afraid I will fail many, many times.
The argument itself was trivial, but it was the situation surrounding the discourse. My lovely, 13 year old niece was hanging out at the house and sitting just inches away from me when they altercation occurred.
We didn’t raise our voices, throw things at each other or spit hateful things (out loud) (I kid!). But we still put my niece in a very uncomfortable position by letting that disagreement happen in front of her.
I quickly followed HOS when he left the room and we talked about the minor problem at hand. It was resolved painlessly and without the need for me to send him passive aggressive texts while he was with friends. … Not that I would EVER do that. …
Anyway, this story is about what I learned. I don’t want to be that couple that fights openly in front of other people. We are happy together. I want people to know that we are happy together. And I definitely want my daughter to see happy, healthy relationship between her parents, friends, family, etc. I want these same things for my niece.
After I talked with Shane, I sat with my niece and apologized. I told her that she shouldn’t have been in that situation, and it hopefully (no promises) won’t happen again. I also explained that despite our disagreement, Shane and I are happy. We love each other, and I don’t want her to worry or think that something is wrong. I explained that even the happiest of couples will fight sometimes. The sweet thing just asked if everything was ok after I talked to him and went back to her iPod.
Every situation we experience yields a lesson. I don’t think we always know, understand or agree with the lesson, but it is what it is. In this situation, my niece taught me the importance of being aware of surroundings and how we want to be represented before showing some hostilities.
This is not me condoning lying or hiding feelings because there are people around. This is about finding the right times and right ways to communicate.
For only 13, this girl sure does teach me a lot. 🙂